Friends....How many of us have them? LOL

This of course is the hardest time of my life; I can't imagine that it gets much worse than this. So, what do you "expect" people to do....What are the expectations of your family, your friends, your co-workers? Traumatic life experiences help you to see all sides of people you interact with. Its' one thing to have someone say "Call me if you need anything." Its' another thing to have that person show up...and DO. My grief counselor asked me what could Jonathan do for me? Did I know? I don't have a map for the things I want him to do; I just want him to DO IT!! When you see me dragging, rent a movie, say something funny, put a hot dog in your ear. I don't know----but as someone who cares about me --JUST DO IT! I know that Jonathan does the best he can and often times he is at a lost for what to do. I can be sitting as normal as possible and then coiled into a ball of drudgery in 5 seconds flat. So, I actually sympathize with the fella....But I get warm and fuzzy to know that he does what he can and the best that he knows how.

So, do you expect something different from your friends. I've got a few categories of friends. Those that consistently call, if not every day, no more than 2 days go by without a "check-up." This warms my soul and it helps to know that during your day, you think about me and maybe if I am struggling your phone call can put off the inevitable break down just a few more minutes. The Friend that just comes over...I was in the neighborhood (when you know they were not) and thought I would stop by- just to see you, to look in your eyes --then they hit you with, LETS GO SHOPPING! Gotta love that friend. Then there is the "friend" that does NOTHING. What is that? Who is that? Why is that? better yet, Is that o.k.? Do you still consider them a "friend?" Besides wondering, what the hell? Do you still keep this person on the christmas card list, when you haven't heard from them in over a month, not a phone call, no email, not even a Buzz on IM. I know that death is hard for all involved, and peoples reactions are different...but DAMN!!! Can I get a friend ettiquette book and try to figure this whole thing out...better yet....I don't have time, the next break down is on the way.

For now, I don't know if I still consider them a friend, For now, I can't DEAL with their issues...For now, I don't know if I can call them - FRIEND.